I had weekend plans: I was going to the climbing gym. I was doing some (ever so slightly belated) spring cleaning. I was *finally* putting my carry on bag up in its storage spot.
I was rollerblading and cycling and spending time on things that the midseason rush often passes over. The one thing I was not doing was thinking about volleyball.
And then a text popped up.
“You two are the next team on the list for the Main Draw! Congrats! Sorry for the last minute, but is there any way you would be able to get up to Chicago to start play on Friday?”
Then, almost immediately from Macy, “holy shit.”
A somewhat “meh” end to season – not qualifying for Chicago and then a mediocre 13th place finish at MBO – combined with some craziness at work left me feeling drained and disappointed. I needed some time to myself before picking up practice again. I’m also a huge advocate for an off season in general. It gives you time to reflect, rest, and recharge from the nonstop whirlwind of tournaments, travel, and work that happens from March to September. I was mentally in full off season.
But opportunities in this sport are like little sprinkles of fairy dust – you never know when some will show up, and you never know if they might let you fly. We had to seize this one. I called Macy to confirm, but I already knew she was in. It was somewhat of a full circle moment in our partnership. Chance stripped away a shot at our first tournament together (New Orleans), and then chance handed us a golden ticket to the final AVP Gold Series of the year. Kismet.
The work week was looking rough for me even before finding out I’d need to get Friday off to play. I was working on a deliverable due that morning – something required for a critical purchase from a supplier. It wasn’t something I could hand off to a colleague. Honestly, I busted my butt in the office and out to finish it in time. It was so down to the wire that I purchased the wifi on the plane to finish and send it out via email before landing at 9 pm local time in Chicago. I could feel the wave of relief upon hitting the send button: I was free. I used my last available vacation day to play on Friday. The way everything fell into place was almost poetic.
I awoke with a sense of tired excitement. The regular pre-game jitters were there, but there was a noticeable dearth of the self-inflicted pressure that comes on AVP game day.
We all put pressure on ourselves, especially with how competitive the women’s main draw is. The mid-level main draw teams know that not qualifying or not winning enough matches equates to not only a potential loss in your own points, but an increase in your competitors’, opening the door to be bumped down into a future qualifier. A one-off poor performance may have no impact, but, over time, teams consistently getting a less-than-fifth place finish know the consequences.
I have the self-awareness to know that I am one of those players on the bubble a lot of times. I’ve had breakthrough events, getting to quarters, semis, and even a finals, but I have not found the consistency to solidify myself in the main draw. I *know* that every win matters – it could be the difference between main draw or qualifier for the next event.
Chicago felt different. We weren’t even supposed to be there, and that was freeing. It was freeing despite knowing that our first round draw was the #2 seed, the number two team in the world right now, an almost guaranteed Olympic team for the US. It was freeing despite the work cramming that I had done up to just 13 hours before our first match. It was freeing despite the last minute travel, despite the lack of training in the preceding week, despite the off-season mentality I was suddenly pulled from. There was absolutely no pressure; we were playing on house money.
We finished in 9th in a stacked main draw, solidifying our sense of belonging for the tournament and scooping up some gold series points in the process. We came out ahead, especially considering just five days prior we had no idea we would be there in the first place. AVP Chicago tied up my season with a nice little bow (barring a couple small events later in the year). I’ll keep working on finding that freedom to thrive every event, regardless of circumstance.
For now, I’ll be *resuming* my off-season and spending some much needed time with family and friends.
-Megan
Semi Pro 
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