Growing expectations are a funny thing, especially in a sport as tumultuous as beach volleyball. Somehow they always balloon to exceed what you’ve achieved. One minute, you’re as stoked as can be qualifying into an event, not even caring about main draw wins. Suddenly, you’re unhappy with a finish short of fifth. For the highest caliber teams, anything less than a victory could be a disappointment.
It’s a great thing, to be able to improve your game, see some better finishes, know you are elevating your level, expect more from yourself. It’s incredible to push yourself to get better and then see the progress in real time. Your expectations drive you, and you drive your expectations. Your past results allow your future hopes to grow. It’s cyclical, spiraling ever tighter towards the ultimate goal – winning. And sometimes it’s easy to get lost in the expectations, so much so that you have to pinch yourself as a reminder that you are playing on the AVP – the highest level of beach volleyball in the US, and you are getting top 10 finishes. You are winning main draw matches. You are competing against Olympians and all time greats (hello, Larissa, who I always seem to draw first round).
I felt good in Miami, as a whole. Trying to hold down a partner while not living in California is a challenge in itself, but that’s an entirely different topic. I played with Ola – a fierce Polish blocker who could only play this one event before heading off to play FIVB the remainder of the season. She was a blast to play with; our court chemistry was great even with only a couple practices. We finished 9th. One win, two losses. Like everyone who doesn’t win the whole thing, we had “good takeaways” – you know, that Instagram cliche that you use when you don’t want to tell people that you just couldn’t quite get it done. But right now I’m not reflecting on the good takeaways, the lessons learned, or the growing opportunities. I’m reflecting on the “pinch yourself” moments from this weekend that remind me that I am living the dream.
I had to pinch myself when some local Floridians pulled out a full size banner for a fence with some of my AVP photos on it, and then asked me to sign it. “No, no, don’t sign it in that corner – sign it in the middle. Make it big, and make sure we can read it,” he said to me. No hiding who I am. They wanted that signature to speak loud and proud. How cool is that?
I had to pinch myself when I stepped on stadium and could hear my people cheering for me in person this time. My locals could drive to an event, and they made the most of it. I can confirm that playing on stadium with a home crowd advantage is indeed epic.
I had to pinch myself when I realized that both my husband and I made it on ESPN in the span of 5 days (iykyk #teqvoly). How many people can say that?
What a freakin life.
Like most of us, I’m constantly learning to balance those ever growing expectations with living in the moment and appreciating where I am right now. It isn’t necessarily an “either-or” situation. I can hold myself to a high standard AND have gratitude for each experience, regardless of the result. Ambition can make the moments even sweeter, I think. So instead of letting my expectations swallow me whole, I’m choosing to ride above them, letting them lift me up as they grow.
– Megan
Semi Pro 
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